I managed to catch a few glimpses of “Yaadein” on TV today. It has brought back some very grim memories. Of having stood in a queue for over an hour to try and buy tickets for the 1st Saturday matinee show. Of having shelved out a fortune to buy them in black subsequently. And of eventually having rued my fate through the next 3 hours as the drama unfolded on screen.

It still isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. That honour goes to a list of 3 more worthy ones (in increasing order of misery caused during and after the movie).

3. TAAL
The lone reason this doesn’t make it to the top spot is because it got released centuries ago and most of my memories from it have got replaced by much worse ones over the years. And yet, even after all this time, every time I see anything even remotely related to it on TV, my hand reaches out for the remote almost involuntarily. Maybe because “Ek doosre ka jhhoota COKE peene se pyaar badhta hai” is very fresh in my mind, even centuries hence.

2. MOHABATTEIN
One cheesy love story in a movie is BAD enough, this one has four! Yet, for some reason the director thought it still wasn’t “mohabbat” enough. So, he included some two dozen “as original as they get” sequences that absolutely redefine the meaning of love. The classroom scene where Shahrukh Khan goads the “young lovers” in his class to picture the “loves of their lives” parked at the college entrance, very befittingly culminating in three of them actually running towards the gate, still haunts me.

1. KABHI ALVIDA NA KEHNA
This one wins by a mile. It is an experience of a kind. The kind that makes you question your love for cinema, even months after you finished rummaging through it’s 3+ hours of pure unadulterated (pun unintended) trash. I have a feeling the director never showed the final result to any of the 5 stars. Atleast one of them would have had the sense to not let it be released!